John ESENE

     In 2019 when certain parents wanted to compel their son to marry a girl of their choice, he cried out for help and when the public reacted to his cry, the boy was spared a breading space for a while. Then, the family subtly applied yet another method which equally failed. As a parent, you should be interested in seeing your child having a happy family. No doubt that you went through thick and thin to bring up your child but work with God who has plans for you and your child.

 

     While the extended family meet to deliberate on the above, The boy’s parents told their relations they stubbornly took the fight to their son’s home and forced him to marry the girl of their choice. Though there is no peace in that home, the parents promised to continue to intervene so long they are alive.

 

A relation exclaimed how he and his wife prayed and fasted, with faith and trust in God before they allowed their only son to marry the girl of his choice, and they are living happily with their children. Another man and his wife said they jointly prayed with their son and daughter for a long while for same purpose and their prayers were answered.

 

     God arranged the marriage partnership of Adam and Eve. In Gen. 2:18, 21-22, God said, “It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him. Then the Lord God made the man fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the flesh. He formed a woman out of the rib and brought her to him.” Did God arrange your marriage?

 

     When we involve God during our search for the man or woman to marry we should allow Him to lead us to the bone of our bones and we will not regret it: He will open our eyes to see what we have not seen and speak to us. So, let us consult with God who created us and has the plans for our lives in the palm of His hands. When our endeavors are aligned with God’s purpose for us, we will experience the joy that comes from above.

 

      Marriage success is not achievable on a platter of gold. You have to work for it. For some, it is easier than others. The truth is that, what is worth doing is worth doing well. Achievers never give up even in the face of adversity.

 

     The issue of parents wanting their wards to marry their choice cuts across the rank and file of the society: the rich and poor, the educated and the illiterates. Some parents may not be conscious of the fact that they are denying their children’s right but the feeling is obviously there because it is natural in us.

 

      I do not intend to talk ill of our forefathers especially those we come across in the Bible. I only want to make reference to people of old to trace our human weaknesses and the possible effects they could have on the society. Gen. Chapter 29 to 31 give detail account of how Jacob ended up marrying two sisters and their slave girls. Jacob’s intention was to marry Rachael only but her father tricked him to have an affair with her elder sister, Leah which led him to marry her after serving Laban for seven years because of Rachael.

 

      The intimacy between Rachael and Jacob compelled him to serve their father for another seven years before he could marry Rachael. So, Laban was happy to marry his two daughters to Jacob and watched the unhealthy rivalry between the two. To compound it, the two sisters encouraged Jacob to officially have affair with their slave girls, Zilpah and Bilhah. By all implications, the marriage experienced a lot of problems.

 

     The lesson I want us to learn from the above is that no one is perfect but God. Most marriages dictated by parents, relations or friends lead to disaster rather than happy union. We noted with joy how Jacob resolved to serve Laban for fourteen years before he could marry Rachael but most of us cannot do it. It shows the high value he placed on the woman he loved. Bongos Ikwue in his song said, “I am searching for true love. I will keep on searching till I find. Nothing good comes easy. Yes, I know. I will keep on searching till I find.”

 

     Luke 2:41-43, 45-46, 48-50 says, “Every year, the parents of Jesus went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover as was their customs. And When Jesus was twelve years old; He went with them according to the custom for the feast. After the feast was over, they returned but the Boy Jesus remained in Jerusalem and His parents did not know. As they did not find Him, they went back to Jerusalem looking for Him and after three days, they found Him in the Temple, sitting among the teachers. His parents were very surprised when they saw Him, and His Mother said to Him, ‘Son, why have you done this to us? Your Father and I have been very worried while searching for you.’ Then He said to them, ‘Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?’ But they did not understand what He was saying to them.”

 

     It is natural for parents to show affections to their children. Culture or tribe has nothing to do with this phenomenal. A nuclear family comprises of a father, mother and their children. And this family is regarded as one unit. The natural unity that bounded the nuclear family presupposes the existence of unconditional love. Let us work with God rather than thwart this love because of our choices to some extent of going against God’s will.