John ESENE

    The lady who refused to marry a man said she took the decision because of the way her father brutalized her mother and denied her a peaceful and happy marriage. She and her younger ones would watch as their father humiliated their mother on daily basis and if any of them should show a sign of discomfort in the process, their father would punish him or her too. Whenever their mother tried to interrupt their father while he is punishing them unjustly, she would be punished. Though the woman realized the sharp difference between the love he exhibited for her during their courtship and what she now experiences from him, she decided to accept the situation because of their children.  

    But Prov. 31:8-9 said in this regard, “Speak up for people who cannot speak for themselves. Protect the rights of all who are helpless. Speak for them and be a righteous judge. Protect the rights of the poor and needy.” According to her, her father was known in their vicinity as a violent man; hence neighbors, relations and friends do not make efforts to intervene when their father is maltreating any of their family members. After all they went through, she said she does not trust any man and would not want to be enslaved by man as her husband, hence she prefer to remain single till she dies. “Wicked people are always hungry for evil; they have no mercy on anyone” says Prov. 21:10.

     This lady should change her mind because there are many men who do not behave like her father. Real love is not based on romance, candle light dinner and walk along beach but care, compromise, respect and trust. “Weak people revenge, strong people forgive and intellectual people ignore” says Prof. Wole Soyinka. If you stake your life on your experience with your father alone, you may likely throw the proverbial baby and bath water into lagoon. God created you for a purpose and your father’s attitude should not distract you from fulfilling God’s will for you. Beg God to lead you to the man of His choice for your good!

      You have been equipped to do good works and leave positive impact on those around you. You do not own your life. God has a purpose for creating you and when you get to know that you are doing and what you are supposed to do, you will be happy. And you will make a difference in the world.Top of Form

     David was a little boy when he became a shepherd and was fully committed to his shepherding. He would wrestle with lions to keep the sheep safe. Then God decided to make David the shepherd of his people. God then sent Prophet Samuel to anoint him to carry out the assignment as revealed in 1Sam 16:1-13 and empowered David to prove to the people through the encounter he had with Goliath in 1Sam 17. When David eventually ascended the throne, he led the people with the consciousness that God was with him. And God was pleased with him. Today, we see David in the Bible as a mentor.

     I encourage parents to have the conscience of David, Daniel, Esther, Mary Magdalene, Peter, Paul, John the Baptist to utilize to the best of your ability the treasure given to you: say nothing but the truth at all times! Most parents who are doing well as mentors to their children may say of those who are not, “That is none of our business; ours are behaving well.” But they might have forgotten that “One stained finger with oil can spread it to the rest!  These days, we see how the bad ones gradually mislead the good ones to do things the negative way. 

      Parents of world’s first surviving nonuplets (9 babies in a single birth) Halima Cisse and Abdelkader Arby welcomed the 5 girls and 4 boys via C-section (after 30 weeks of pregnancy) in Morocco on May 4, 2021. They had a baby girl 2 years earlier before they gave birth to the nonuplets. The nonuplets are 4 years old now! While expressing their gratitude, the parents called it, “A miracle of life, incredible strength, and immense love.”

     I pray that as these parents now have a total of 10 children, they should love all as special gifts from God and shepherd them without discrimination. That way, they will be a happy family where a binding cord of love influences peace and joy to reign. The idea of comparing your children to enable you love one more than the other brings unnecessary division in a family.

     A middle age woman said recently that she was looking forward to marry a short and small man because of what she experienced during her childhood in her family. Her father was in the habit of beating her mother. So, she has rejected many men asking for her hand in marriage. She wants a man she can beat up when they have misunderstanding unlike her mother who is always a looser!

     Your children belong to God who imposed them on you to shepherd them. You and your children are under the watchful eyes of God who has invested so much on us. Proverb 22:6 says, “Teach a child how he should live, and he will remember it all his life.”

       Nobody knows it all except God, hence, we should be in the habit of self-examination to enable us see where we go wrong and make amend where necessary. Jesus has made it clear that if we abide in Him He will abide in us. This done, we shall be close to Him and walk in the light and do God’s will to become what God created us to be. Do not create problems for your children. If you do, they may commit crimes of opportunity and get used to the stench because they have crucified their consciences and would want to sustain it.