Chinedu Henry EMETO

On Sunday, 20th June 2025, I had the honour of serving as one of the two guest speakers at the inaugural Singles Hangout Programme of St. Mary’s Catholic Church, Egbeda. It was more than just another invitation for me to speak, it was a divine assignment. With Rev. Fr. Dr. Daniel Izebuno, the Parish Priest, and the event’s planning team leading the way, we gathered as young Catholics with open hearts, eager minds and a shared desire to get this one area of life right and correct: LOVE RELATIONSHIPS.

THE TALKING STAGE: A CRUCIAL CROSSROAD

The "talking stage” — a term we casually use — is far more significant than we often acknowledge. It is where foundations are laid, expectations revealed, hearts awakened and sadly, sometimes broken.

I know this stage very well, not from theory, but from lived experience. I’ve liked someone very deeply, prayed fervently about them and dreamt boldly, only to hear the words, "You’re a good person, but…” or worse, to be met with silence. I was once engaged to someone I genuinely believed was "the one,” only to be left during one of the lowest moments of my life. Our wedding plans were nearly complete!

And yet, from these places of pain, I’ve found perspective. From my bruised heart, I speak, not as an expert, but as a brother who still believes in love that is holy, healthy and healing.

SEVEN SIGNS OF MATURITY TO WATCH FOR

I shared with the congregation seven key areas to discern, not only in the person one is speaking to, but more importantly, within oneself.

1. BIOLOGICAL MATURITY

God made us spirit, soul and body, and our bodies are not to be overlooked. Health conversations, blood group compatibility and genetic concerns matter. I once had to walk away from a year-long connection with a beautiful, kind lady due to genotype incompatibility. It was one of the hardest decisions, but the most loving one too.

1. EMOTIONAL MATURITY

A relationship cannot thrive if we are led solely by our feelings. Emotional intelligence means knowing how to feel without letting every emotion direct us. After my heartbreak, I had to confront my overthinking, my insecurities and my tendency to panic over silence. I learnt that HEALING IS SOLELY MY RESPONSIBILITY.

1. PHYSICAL MATURITY

While physical attraction is natural, it must be undergirded by respect and discipline. Our bodies are temples, not toys. Temptation wears a beautiful face, but self-control clothes us with honour.

1. SPIRITUAL MATURITY

Can your partner pray with you without touching you inappropriately? Do they love God or just attend Church? Not all that shines in the sanctuary is gold. Even Satan often masquerades as an agent of light. Spiritual discernment is essential.

1. SOCIOCULTURAL MATURITY

We don’t marry individuals in isolation. We marry into families, cultures, expectations and traditions. My ex-fiancée once told me, “My mother doesn’t like Igbos.” I replied, “If she meets me and still doesn’t like me, I will walk away.” Surprisingly, she grew to love me. But in the end, tradition and pressure still played a role.

Love may break boundaries, but it cannot erase them. Dialogue must precede disappointment.

1. FINANCIAL MATURITY

Money doesn’t buy love, but it often sustains it. Financial responsibility matters.

There was a time my heart was willing, but my hands were tied financially. I had to admit, “I’m not ready.” It hurt, but it was honest. A good heart with no direction can frustrate even the best intentions.

1. PSYCHOLOGICAL MATURITY

Self-awareness is vital. If you don’t know who you are, you will fall for anything or anyone. After my breakup, I questioned my worth. But God reminded me: “You are not forgotten. I am still writing your story.”

CLOSING THOUGHTS

The talking stage is not a playground for trial and error, it is a sacred space for truth and clarity. It's not just for vibes and chemistry, but for discernment and direction.

We may not have it all figured out, but we must be honest enough to grow. With time, prayer, and maturity, love will come, whole, honest and blessed.

And so, I ended my talk with a simple prayer for everyone present. I will end this article with it too:

May the Holy Spirit give you the courage to walk away when it is wrong, and the wisdom to hold on when it is right. May He teach you to listen deeply, not just to your heart, but to His Spirit. And may you find, not just someone to love, but someone who will love you wholeheartedly, with sense, strength and heaven’s blessing. Amen.