John ESENE

Have you in anyway created problem(s) for your children? Before you say “No” you may have to reflect on your past sincerely to know your true position and move forward! To enable you do the needful, you have to see your children as special gifts from God who expect you to shepherd them well and lead them to Him. Jesus said in Mk 10:14, “Let the children come to me and do not stop them, for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.”  Do not forget that you too are a child to your parents.

     Transferred aggression can have negative effect on your children, hence we have to avoid it especially when we are angry or provoked by others. A mother who told her daughter, “I will not beat you because you kept me waiting for long. After all, you will not even have children of your own!” And truly, the girl was married for 10 years without a child until her mother and auntie blessed her after she presented a special gift to them as directed by a man of God.

     Parents, be calm when anger overwhelms you, lest you regret it later. A boy broke his mother’s mirror without an apology. His mother hit   the boy on the head. After crying for a while, he told his father, “Daddy, I know my Mummy’s boyfriend”. Then he went on and mentioned the man’s name. His mother slapped him twice. Suddenly, the man dealt with his wife so much that she has to be rushed to a hospital for medical treatment by neighbors who mocked them when they heard what led to the crises. “Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, bring them up with Christian discipline and instruction” Eph. 6:4.

    Col. 3:21 says, “Parents, do not be too demanding on your children, lest they become discouraged”. You want your children to do things your own way lest you disown them. Children are expected to help their parents financially and otherwise as they grow up but parents must not over-stress them, lest they develop interest in money ritualism or become fraudulent. “I, the Lord, am not easily angered, and I show great love and faithfulness and forgive sin and rebellion. Yet I will not fail to punish children and grandchildren to the third and fourth generation for the sins of their parents” Num. 14:18.

      Col. 4:6 says, “Your speech should always be pleasant and interesting, and you should know how to give the right answer to everyone.” You are the television your children watch every day as they grow up. They do not need stable electricity to watch and learn from you.

    It is the duty of parents to teach their children modesty and dignity. Some parents encourage their children to dress half-naked right from their infancy. By the time they grow up they may over advertise themselves as prostitutes and avoid marriage life. A parent who dresses indecently cannot stop his or her children from doing same. When you or your children dress indecently to Church, you will obviously distract many people during Church service. The Church is a holy place where we are expected to show reverence to God.

     You are in the habit of cheating your clients and your children are very much aware of your policy. Then you say, after all “We pay our tithe monthly to the Church.” And before you know it, your children become more expertise in defrauding people and you rejoice at their smartness as your family grows richly. Some may even become thieves, robbers, practice rituality, etc. much later without your knowledge. So, are you truly shepherding your flocks as God expected you to do?

  “Be alert, be on the watch! Your enemy, the devil, roams round like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8. Hatred, anger jealousy and pride are some of the weapons the devil uses to create enmity between family members. If you allow any of these fragile weapons to overwhelm you, you are likely to hurt someone who may or may not forgive you. “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” Mt. 6:14-15.

     You can humbly reconcile with your children if you have misled them. Do not worry about what people will say and die in silence; let what God will say or do be more important to you. Yes, God first! When Bartimaeus decided to reach out to Jesus for healing, he ignored people’s reproach and called on Jesus and eventually he was healed. Read Mk. 10:46-52. If you make up your mind to reconcile with your son or daughter you have misled, seek the grace of God and go for the reconciliation. Then, your conscience will set you free!

    Prov. 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” The present economic and insecurity situations in the Country have made it difficult for most parents to pay much attention to their children and know their true potentials and shortcomings. But it is a task that has to be done for the fact that God who made you to shepherd your children is available to strengthen you for the mission. Do not tell God that you have a big problem rather tell your problem that you have a Big God!

   God empowered Mother Mary and Her Spouse, Joseph to survive the hardship they went through during Jesus’ Childhood. The same God will see you through if you surrender yourself to Him. “Live in me as I live in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it has to remain part of the vine; so neither can you bear fruit if you do not live in me. I am the vine and you are the branches. As long you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; but apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5

    Have you been misled by your parent(s)? Forgive them and cry to God and be rewarded like Hagar’s son.  “What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid. God has heard the boy. Get up, pick the boy up and hold him safely, for I will make him into a great nation.” Gen 21:17-18. Our Merciful God has not changed!