Ifeoma Odisa UGWU

Dear Sister,

It has been a while, and the fact that I am putting words to screen again today is evidence of how important sharing this journey truly is. Life gets busy, seasons shift, but there is something sacred about returning to the place where we pause, reflect, and grow together.

As the year came to an end, I found myself in my prayer corner doing what many of us do around that time. I was thinking deeply about all the ways I could improve. I spoke to God about my desires, my plans, and the areas of my life I hoped would look better in the coming year. But instead of giving me a neat list of goals, it felt like the Holy Spirit gently began to show me areas I had ignored, areas I had grown defensive about, and areas I had simply been ignorant of.

You can imagine what that moment felt like. I went through all the stages. I tried to rationalize some things. I defended some habits. I explained away certain patterns. And then, eventually, I felt sad. Sad that I was not as “together” as I thought I was. Sad that there was still so much work to be done.

At some point, I asked myself a hard question. Am I really supposed to be writing to anyone when I still need this much work?

But thanks be to God, I am not ignorant of the devices of the enemy. It would be a shame if I only ever wrote from a place of perfection, because that place does not exist. What gives this space meaning is the honesty to say, I am a work in progress, and God is not done with me yet. As Philippians 1:6 reminds us, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

That truth gave me peace.

As the New Year began, I also noticed some trends online that made me pause. People were talking about not cutting others off so quickly. About checking in on friends they had not heard from in a while. About choosing connection over isolation. And honestly, it made me happy. It felt like a quiet response to how overly self-centred the world has been becoming, where everyone is protecting their peace at the expense of community.

Scripture reminds us in Hebrews 10:24–25 to “consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.” God never designed us to do life alone. Community, though sometimes messy, is still His idea.

If everyone cuts off everyone else, who is left? Who then becomes the problem? This is not a call to tolerate abuse or disrespect, but it is an invitation to examine our hearts before we walk away too easily.

So for the rest of this January, I want us to sit with a theme that is both uncomfortable and deeply freeing. Self-examination.

Not the kind that leads to shame, but the kind that leads to growth. The kind that uses God’s word as a mirror and invites the Holy Spirit to guide us gently into truth.

Someone once said that an unexamined life is not worth living. And while that may sound extreme, there is wisdom in it. When you are not self-aware, growth rarely takes place. Growth does not happen by accident. It happens when you are willing to pause and ask honest questions about your patterns, your reactions, your choices, and your values.

This brings me to my charge for you this week.

You may have written resolutions to lose weight, read more books, travel more, save more, or go out more. These are good goals, and there is nothing wrong with them. But as you pursue those, I want you to lean just as heavily on values and virtues.

Care more.
Be patient more.
Be angry less.
Show compassion.
Give mercy.
Listen better.
Forgive quicker.

These things may not trend on social media, but they will shape your character and bless your community in ways no checklist ever could. Proverbs 4:23 tells us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” When your heart is aligned, your actions will follow.

As this New Year unfolds, allow it to be a season of honest reflection, gentle correction, and intentional growth. Not because you are failing, but because you are becoming.

And that, sister, is more than enough.

Prayer

Lord, as I step into this New Year, help me to see myself clearly through Your eyes. Give me the courage to examine my heart, the humility to accept correction, and the grace to grow daily. May Your Spirit guide me into truth, shape my character, and help me become all You have created me to be. Amen.

With love and prayers,
Your big sister in Christ 💛