Becoming the kind of girl who’s ready.

Hi Sis,

How was your week? Mine came with a mix of emotions. I finally started something I had been putting off, and guess what? It made me proud. There was also this piece of news I’d been avoiding because I feared it would break me—but instead, I faced it head-on, examined the facts, and took a small but meaningful step to turn things around.

Sometimes we allow bad news, failures, or even our past ignorance to define us. But you, my dear, are more than a bad grade, a poor decision, or what didn’t work yesterday. You are the sum of all the possibilities God sees in you. “His mercies are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:23). You can start again. Always.

Okay, that was my little check-in A. Now let’s continue our conversation from last week. If you haven’t read Part 1, go find it—it’s foundational. We talked about asking yourself “Am I ready?” before entering a relationship, instead of just choosing between Boy A or Boy B.

Now, let’s break down what “readiness” actually looks like. Because no one magically becomes relationship-ready just by clocking 18, 21 or 25. Being ready doesn’t mean you’re perfect; it means you’re intentional.

1. Identity First

Before anyone’s “Hey beautiful” starts messing with your head, you need to know who you are. Your identity is your anchor. If you know you're God’s daughter, chosen and deeply loved, you won’t settle for someone who can’t see your worth.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood…” (1 Peter 2:9)—that’s who you are. You won’t be swayed by flattery or rush into something just because everyone else is. You’ll move with purpose, not pressure.

2. Define Your Core Values

Sis, what do you stand for? Your values are the compass you need when feelings try to confuse you. They help you decide what kind of relationship you want, and more importantly, what kind of person you allow close to your heart.

Here are some of mine:

Faith – My decisions must reflect God’s truth.

Boldness – I don’t hide who I am or what I believe.

Authenticity – I’m not faking anything to impress anyone.

Curiosity – I ask questions, seek understanding, and don’t just go with the flow.

Self-Respect – I won’t let anyone treat me as less than I am.

Honesty and Trustworthiness – Without these, nothing works.

Your list may look different, and that’s okay. If you’re unsure what your core values are, google a list of values, pick four that speak to you, and begin to live by them. Let them show up in your actions, your friendships, and your boundaries.

3. Ask: What Am I Building?

When a guy shows interest, before you get butterflies, ask:

Does he align with who I am becoming?

Can he handle the weight of my values?

Is this relationship going anywhere meaningful—or is it just noise?

Sis, God is not anti-relationship. He’s pro-purpose. That’s why the relationships He blesses are ones built on a solid foundation. If you’re not sure where you’re going, how will you know who should go with you?

4. Give Yourself Grace While You Grow

Readiness is not about having it all figured out. It’s about being on a journey where you’re growing emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. You don’t have to rush. There is no pressure to be in a relationship just because others are. What’s important is building a life that you love and are proud of.

Let’s pause here today. But come back next week—we’re diving into something just as important: Red flags and green flags in relationships.

These are the signs that help you know if a connection is worth your heart or if it's a detour you don’t need. It’s all about growing in wisdom, Sis. So stay with me!

Until then, reflect on these questions:

Who am I becoming?

What do I stand for?

Am I letting someone in too soon?

Pray with Me

Dear God,
Thank You for loving me and calling me Yours.
Please teach me through Your Holy Spirit.
Give me wisdom to understand who I am,
and help me make good decisions that honour You.
Lead me step by step, and show me what to do as I grow and learn.
I want to become the girl You’ve created me to be.
Amen.

My email is at the top right corner of this page—write to me anytime. I love hearing from you.

With love and prayers,
Your Big Sister in Christ