Fr. Richard OMOLADE

Not too long ago, Saidaboj trended, albeit ignonimously for asserting that it would take the payment of a whooping N20 MILLION for her to provide essential services in the other room. For her, her body is a weapon of sexual delight and she was not going to give it out cheaply. Even to the one she loves, sex must be paid for. No wonder the uproar that followed her could be summarized with the assertion that "many women have nothing to offer other than their bodies." Yet, the BIBLE says that women have been created as helpmate, or helper suitable for men. This has forced public discourse to constantly ask "what are you bringing to the table?" It is a question that should not be asked if it is a loving and mutual relationship. Both parties would realize that they are not out to prey on the other. Once you get a good spouse one of the attendant sign is the fact that this person is an asset and not liability. Spouse, be they male or female do not want to associate with anyone who is a liability, that is, a drain on one's  Resources and mental serenity and productivity.

 

Today, the question "what are you bringing to the table?" must be asked and answered clearly.  Yet many women are not comfortable with the question because as someone observed, many have nothing to offer. This state of affairs is the undoing of many men and now characterizes our society. This is a misnomer and we must find ways to remedy it.  Then comes Gehgeh Unuversity. That it has taken Gehgeh to awake the critical thinking of young men to the danger of unequal yoke and irrational sense of entitlement is a pointer to the deficiency in our Education for critical thinking. Gehgeh's teaching is nothing other than critical thinking and fortitude to implement the right decision. These are skills that should have been taught at home or even during elementary Education.  A basic course in logical reasoning or critical thinking would have improved these initial skills.  But it is obvious many people are lacking in them. Unable to think critically, they are preyed upon by partner or spouse who have mastered the manipulation game to their advantage.

 

Relationship between man and woman is not a one way traffic. Husband and wife are expected to complement each other. Each person brings the best of themselves to the table, not in it to exploit the other as is the case in many relationships today. It is thus imperative that intending couples engage in critical discussions about their outlook to life, to relationship and other value sets that make life honorable. When material benefit is all that matters in a relationship, then it is not a loving relationship but a business venture and it will always benefit one person more than the other. This seems to be the norm yet it is destroying our society. It shouldn't have taken Saidaboj to educate or empower women nor do we need Gehgeh to school young men if everyone has been schooled in common sense. Common Sense is the product of proper upbringing and socialization in good values. Properly educated members of the society see themselves as members of the society and not above the common good. They, therefore always aim to contribute to the proper functioning of the society and the good of the masses. They think of what they can do for the society and not what the society can do for them. These people will bring their best resources to their relationship to uplift the other without despoiling the other. No wonder some women are being left behind today because they are perceived as sinkholes instead of partners, they drain without replacing, destroying their host and depriving themselves of better life. One truth I learnt a long time ago is "don't wait for anyone to do for you what you can do for yourself." In a relationship, both parties must make significant contributions for the good of others. There is a mutuality embedded in sexual relationship such that women cannot colonize it as their sole contribution. It takes two to tangle, that is why men are asking today, "Apart from sex, what do women have to contribute?" If you are not helping to pay rent, pay school fees, and buy food some of the times but only interested in bone straight hair, eyelashes, and the grooviest places in town, then you may need to attend the school of common sense.

 

Parents must pay more attention to family life and embrace the ministry of presence through which they can watch their children grow and teach them such values as honour, honesty, integrity and hardwork. The value of work must be taught anew since many today have been lured by deceit, get quick syndrome and are dominated by parasitic syndrome. True reflection on life, and imbibing the wisdom of our elders will always come handy. If not, then enroll in the school of Common Sense and learn to contribute to your society instead of parading some idiotic sense of entitlement.