Prof. Victoria AJALA

It is a quiet Sunday afternoon. Tony, Grandma’s grandson, has just returned from Church. He looks thoughtful, almost troubled. Grandma, seated in her favorite wooden chair with her rosary in hand, notices his silence.

 

Grandma: My dear Tony, you look like someone carrying a heavy thought. What troubles your heart?

 

Tony: (sighs) Grandma, it’s the workplace again. Everywhere I turn, I see pretentious smiles that aren’t real. Colleagues act friendly, but behind closed doors, they speak ill of one another. Even in faith-based organization, people pretend all is well, while deep in their hearts, they despise each other. They never speak truth in love; instead, they hide behind courtesy. Sometimes, I feel that pretense has become the culture of our society.

 

Grandma: (nodding slowly) Ah, my son, you have touched a wound that pains both heaven and earth. Pretense is like painting a cracked wall without repairing its foundation. It may look good on the outside, but within, the structure is collapsing.

 

Tony: But Grandma, people say pretense is the only way to survive. To “Don’t say what you think, just smile and move on,” they tell me. Isn’t that wisdom?

 

Grandma: (smiles gently) Wisdom without truth is cunning, period. Tony, when we build our lives on pretense, we are building not on rock, but on shifting sand. The storm will come, and such a house will fall.

 

 Do you recall what our Lord said? “Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’ Anything more is from the evil one.”

 

Tony: (leaning forward) But Grandma, if people start speaking their minds, won’t there be conflict? Isn’t pretense better than open quarrel?

 

Grandma: There is a difference, my son, between speaking with anger and speaking with love. Love does not pretend. Love corrects with gentleness. Love does not gossip behind closed doors but seeks the good of the other in their presence. Pretense avoids conflict, yes, but it breeds poison in the soul. It kills trust, weakens community, and breeds hypocrisy.

 

Tony: So, Grandma, what then should be the right model?

 

Grandma: The model is authentic love, rooted in truth. A workplace or Church community thrives when feedback is honest, constructive, and given with compassion. Young people must learn that transparency builds trust. Leaders must embrace dialogue, not gossip. And everyone, whether young or old, must remember that pretense builds masks, but love builds persons.

 

Tony: (thoughtfully) That means, in a society filled with pretense, we are raising people who no longer know themselves, only the masks they wear.

 

Grandma: Exactly! And what happens when a whole society wears masks? We lose our humanity. We become actors on a stage, but never real people. God created us in truth, and only truth sets us free.

 

Tony: (slowly) Then, Grandma, the real courage is not to pretend, but to love sincerely, even when it is hard.

 

Grandma: Yes, my child. Love without pretense. Listen to the words of St. Paul: “Let love be sincere; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good.” (Romans 12:9). That is the Christian model for work, for Church, and for society.

 

 Lessons for the Youth and Community

 

*For the Youth:*

 

True strength lies in sincerity, not in pretending.

 

Constructive feedback, offered in love, builds character.

 

Living in truth forms authentic personalities, not masks.

 

 *For the Community:*

 

Pretense breeds division, distrust, and decay.

 

Truth spoken in love builds trust, unity, and progress.

 

A community rooted in sincere love becomes a witness to God’s Kingdom.

 

* The Right Model:*

 

 Catholic Social Teaching Model of Authentic Love and Truth:

 

Dignity of the Human Person – every person deserves honesty.

 

Solidarity – genuine unity, not masks of unity.

 

Subsidiarity – open dialogue and responsibility at every level.

 

Jesus’ Model of Love and Truth – “The truth will set you free.”

 

Grandma: Tony, let me teach you a hymn that captures it well. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by the false smiles of this world, remember it:

 

“Ubi Caritas” (Where Charity and Love Prevail)

 

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.

(Where charity and love are, God is there.)

 

This hymn reminds us that wherever there is sincere love, free of pretense, God Himself dwells.

 

Tony: (smiling) Thank you, Grandma. I see now pretending may keep the peace of the moment, but only truth in love keeps the peace of the heart.

 

Grandma: (with a warm smile) That is the wisdom of heaven, my child. Go, and let love triumph over pretense.