John ESENE

     Children are gifts to their parents and it is the duty of parents to pray for their children to have happy homes when they get married but parents should not impose their choices on their children when they want to marry.

Philip, a young graduate had two wives (non graduates). His father influenced him to marry the first wife and his mother also influenced him to marry another wife of her choice. And there was no peace as both ladies fought for supremacy daily and Philip was looking elsewhere for a true lover.

     Patience was in the habit of changing men like handkerchiefs with the hope of clinging permanently to one for marriage. This habit earned her the nickname “Distributor” in her previous office. At the age of 43, she had seen a lot of men who were not faithful to her. As the traffic of men reduces so much that only old men were coming her way, she decided to relocate to this town and work in the same office with Philip. Hardly Chasse said, “A change of scene, a change of attitude.”

      As she came to a new environment, she learnt new walking steps, dressed modestly, speak few words, etc. so when Philip approached her she accepted him without making necessary enquiries. “What a good luck!” she praised herself and went for thanksgiving in her place of worship.

      When Philip fell in love with Patience, colleagues saw him as a smart guy and wondered if she was aware of his status. But Philip hid his marriage profile from Patience who was unsuspicious of him. Our elders say, “When you arrive at a new place, most often, those who are willing to reach out to you are the bad eggs of that vicinity.” By the time you surely settle down, you will (if you care much), get to know the right people. So, Philip did not allow others the opportunity to flow with Patience to enable her decide who was who in the society.

     Within 3 months of courtship, she wedded Philip without knowing his background. The wedding was not well publicized such that only 10 people including 5 of her relations were in attendance. A sign of “bad omen” you may say! But at 43 with one month pregnancy, she did not care what people say about the wedding. She has gotten a husband, which is all she cared about. When she discovered that Philip had two other wives who were languishing in penury, the thought of an outright divorce enveloped her but for her pregnancy she could do no such thing. She sat and wept till her eyes were bulging from their sockets. “Son of a bitch, wait for divorce after the delivery of this child” she boastfully told her husband.

     Philip made efforts to reconcile with her promising to be open to her henceforth. He was always at her beck and call to heal the wounds he caused her. This unique behavior attracted envy from the other two women yet Philip did not relent. A month after her delivery, Philip took ill and went bankrupt. The situation was so bad that Philip had to be relieved of his duty, compelling them to depend on her salary for upkeep and medications.

     Each time she thought of leaving Philip as a way of revenge, she would hear  voices clamoring in the words of their marriage vows, “In sickness and in health, for better for worse, I do, I do, until death do us part.” Suddenly, a sea of tears would burst open, rain down her chicks and trace their way to her chest with no one to console her. When her relations deserted her saying, “You are on your own” she turned to the Lord in the words of the Psalmist: “In you alone have I put my trust. Never let me be put to shame.” 

     Meanwhile, the other two women deserted Philip and left for their various homes and told the world that Patience transmitted AIDS to their husband. Within the two years the illness lasted, Philip and Patience sold almost all they had to meet their needs. As they went through tick and tin, they were like the dead among the living: All their friends and relations watched from distance expecting bad news. No one visited them either from their office or neighborhood.

     The irony of marriage is that people gather round you to celebrate when the going is good. But when the going gets tough, friends, relations and neighbors will abandon you. So, a new life began for them as they lived among multitude, yet alone. Only then, Philip remembered Psalm 88:18 which says, “Friends and neighbors you have taken away, my one companion is darkness.”

     One morning a pastor prayed at their doorway saying, “Repent and be saved, for judgment is coming your way soon.” Hearing these words, they thought death was approaching hence they decided to recite Psalm 88:3-4, 130:3-4 repeatedly. “For my soul is filled with evils; my life is on the brink of the grave. I am reckoned as one in the tomb: I have reached the end of my strength. If you Oh Lord should mark our guilt, Lord, who would survive? In you we found forgiveness, for this we revere you.” God answered their prayer and turned their adversity to advantage,

      As husband and wife approached the end of the tunnel, two elderly women paid a surprised visit after six long months of “No visitors.” The first woman said to Philip, “You have paid dearly for your sins: you will surely live.” And the other said, “Yes, he will, because his wife stood by him.” And they left! From then on, their marriage and health blossomed and they became the best of friends today. Philip and Patience began to say to each other: “Nothing can change my love for you.” dear readers, until you walk in people’s shoe, you will never know how hard the journey is!